Due to the subject matter, this post should only be read by adults. There may be times where the subject may make you uncomfortable or offend. Should this happen, feel free to call off for the rest of the day, to question why you are either uncomfortable or offended. You have been officially warned.
I have told this story so many times, I don't know who I told it too. So if you heard it, read it again. It is one of those stories that take a life of it's own. That story, that is repeated by multiple people, and is prefaced by "my friend knows this guy, who worked with this other guy..." That guy is me, and this is my story.
I used to share my office space with my Assistant Manager (Matt) and our Assistant (Jim). It was tight quarters, and when it was too quiet we would have random conversations to cut the silence. One day Matt announces "fart is a silly word". I agree and say, "you know what else is a silly word...fellatio".
I know, I shouldn't have said it. Please spare me the finger wagging, and enjoy the magic.
Jim turns to us and asks "What's a fellatio?"
This is the moment where all my training as a liar came into use. This is also the moment where I became a World Class Liar (WCL).
With the most serious expression, I tell him that it is a sandwich. Not just a regular sandwich, the best sandwich you've ever had. I could not look at Matt, while I said this, because he is trying not to laugh, so I continue. "It is kind of like a grinder, but way better. There are many options, and it really is a personal preference". Jim then asks "where do I get one? it sounds deliscous".
At this point, I am amazed that this is happening. So I push the envlope.
"No matter where you are, you can always find one, you just need to know where to look. You can always get one downtown. Sometimes they are selling them on the street, but I would not have a street fellatio as your first one. Make it event, enjoy it. Go somewhere you trust, with a good reputation. And if someone offers you one, you should go for it. Hell, a good freind will go downtown and get two fellatio's and come back and give one to you."
I know what you are thinking, and I disagree. This story does not make me a bad man. What makes me bad, is that I never told him the truth.
