Say it loud, say it proud

I don't believe that there are a lot of cultures that embrace the bumper sticker like Americans.  There are villages that are using burros to haul supplies to and fro.  If they had a car, it would not have a bumper sticker on it.  There are people in the desert, holding on the side of a van.  They don't feel the need to have their political views stuck to the bumper.  These people must hate us.

We use these stickers to transform our vehicles.  As if they have some magic powers.  When you own a Honda minivan, all you have to do is apply a Slayer sticker to the back window.  Now you don't look like you are driving the kids to soccer practice.  That sticker announces to the world, that at any given moment...mosh pit.

Most country's view this Ford truck as a work vehicle.  Not to us, we feel it is equally important to share our preference on female body parts.

These things would never fly in most country's.  This is why our fore fathers left England. Bumper stickers are made for Americans.  If you own a bumper sticker, or are looking into buying one...keep that money in the good ol' US of A.

It is only here, that you can have a work van that you can advertise your religious beliefs, your views on Government officials and your right to bear arms.  Take a moment to drink this image in.  The sticker on the far right says: Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun.  That my friend is freedom.  That sticker is actually telling the world: Ted Kennedy's car has killed more, but at the drop of dime, I will even the score.

you are fired!

I love the Circus.  I love the atmosphere, the acts and yes, I love the clowns!  What is not to love about a clown.  Their whole goal in life is to make you smile.  They will put their life on the line, to make you laugh.  I am talking circus clowns, not rodeo clowns.  That's just creepy.

I recently took my family to the Circus.  It was a blast.  I can't help but think all the time, effort and skill that goes into everything that each act does.  They swing from the ceiling from fishing line, ride bikes on a twine and spin around on the end of a telephone pole that is being twirled by a Roman Gladiator.  That is talent, that is skill.

Some of these jobs, however, make me glad I do what I do.  They make me feel thankful.  When things are bad at my work, I remind myself.  At least I am not the guy that walks behind the elephants with a snow shovel, to pick up poop.  At least I am not the guy in this video.  He comes in to work, everyday, just to get fired.

crazy produce

I don't mind going to the grocery store, that's where they keep all the food. Since I like to eat, it makes sense, that I like to buy the food I like to eat.  Try to keep up with the math.

For the most part, I buy name brand cereals for my kids. I don't mind buying the generic brand, when it tastes the same, but I am not going to deprive my kids from sugery goodness.  I also will not buy this cereal...

Not because it doesn't taste like Trix, because I really have no idea.  I won't buy it because of the name.  Freaky Fruits will lead to many uncomfortable conversations with my kids.  It is inevitable that they will ask, why are these fruits freaky?  I will either have to lie or tell them about the alternative lifestyle these fruits lead.  I am not suggesting that I will hide these things from my kids, but I don't condone launching into these conversations because of a box of cereal.

These fruits should be able to live their lives without public ridicule.  They should live like the majestic Pluot.  The Pluot is a cross between a plum and a apricot.  Or the Grapple, an apple that tastes like a grape.  They hang out in the specialty area of the fruit stand.  Nobody understands it, they gawk, then move on to the conventional fruit.  Not me.  I embrace this alternative fruit, and I do it in a way that is respectful.  I don't go around throwing labels, like freaky fruit. 

There will be a day, God willing, that there will be unlimited choices.  If you only like apples, great eat an apple.  If you only eat bananas, I don't judge.  I also want to eat my Pluot and Grapple, and nobody should try to stop me.  Mark my words, one day there will be a Cran-Apple the size of my head, and that my friend, is THE WORLD I WANT TO LIVE IN!!!!

Music Review: Mariachi el Bronx

The Bronx

The Bronx are a hardcore band based in LA.  They have a  great West Coast flavor, that can be appreciated if you are a connoisseur (like myself) of punk music.  I know this may miss the palate of a lot of music fans, but you cannot look at this genre of having nothing to offer.


I submit, for your approval, the alter ego of The Bronx...Mariachi El Bronx

Mariachi El Bronx

This was borne from a request for The Bronx to do an acoustic set, so they decided to do it as a Mariachi band.  This has taken a life of it's own, including a recent appearance on the Tonight Show. So what genre is Mariachi El Bronx? They play Mariachi music in English, you figure out how they fit into a heading at a music store.  All I know is that you need to listen and expand your mind.

Buy this!!!

Mariachi El Bronx newest release, is a work of art.  The album flows from beginning to end.  The Opening track 48 Roses, is a great strong start.  The mood changes to love ballads including a fantastic song highlighting the infamous Revolution blvd in Tijuana.  This album is good from beginning to end, showcasing their musical talent with great respect to Mariachi music.  This genre might have been a tough egg to crack, without looking like a parody.  They do it with style and grace.  Each song tells a story, and each story is steeped in complex arrangements that are flanked by acoustic guitar and bass.  I could go on and on, but then I would sound like a music snob, aka music douche.  This is the equivalent of someone that sips wine and talks about the woody flavor with lilac doused finish.  This is just really good freakin' music.

Music Review: Aggrolites

The plan this weekend was to completely geek out.  There was a lot of good music that was dropping, and I was gonna break me off some of that.  Nick Lowe, John Doe, Mariachi El Bronx and Aggrolites were going to be my new acquisitions.  This is my equivalent to Christmas, Chanukah and Boxing Day (which I assume involves big boxes filled with delicious sandwiches and fried treats).

I love music, but can't make it to the music store anymore.  Also, all our record stores were eaten up by big box assholes that think that music is the pop crap that falls out of Beyonce's ass.  So it was a going to be a combination of purchasing on line and uploading.  I normally like to buy my CD's, so I can hold it, squeeze it and call it George.  I just could not wait for this round to show up in the mail.  I would upload half and wait for the other to arrive at my door. 

Things did not go as planned, Nick Lowe doesn't come out until September, John Doe end of August, Mariachi El Bronx August 3rd.  One by one, I was shot down.  The music gods were not happy with me, and banished me to musical timeout.

My only saving grace was Aggrolites newest release "Rugged Road"...
This album lacks the intensity and flavor of previous releases.  Aggrolites last album "IV", was a musical masterpiece from the word go.  So it stands to reason that the only place to go, was down.  It is just a little hard to digest when they have consistently excelled expectation with each album. 

The Aggrolites coined the phrase "dirty reggae", a combination of Reggae with a soulful undertones and a nod to punk.  They own this genre.  It is the natural progression that Reggae has made and others have fought.  Look at other types of underground music and you will see how it has evolved, this is one the many evolutions.

It is not fair to make comparisons to this album with previus, but damn it, it needs to be done.  "Rugged Road" starts out slow from the gate, leaning on more of Roots Reggae.  "IV" hits hard with the first track, priming you for things to come.  "Rugged" flexes the Aggrolites muscles by showcasing their musical talent with 5 of the 10 tracks being instrumental.  This is approximately the same number of instrumentals found of "IV", but with double the tracks.  "Rugged" lacks the continuity and brazenness of "IV".  It is more of stroll in the park with Mary Jane, compared to the love, hate, joy and excitement of "IV".

If this album is your first foray into Aggrolites music, you will be very happy.  You will pop it in, and feel the contact buzz as you plow through a bag of Cheetos.  If you love the Aggrolites, then you will be pleased that they did not call this album "V", because it is not a good follow up to one the best albums of their musical careers.

Now excuse me while I try to clean the Cheetos dust off my IPod.