GENIUS

I really should be using my powers for good, not evil.  I just can't help it.
He came in this morning and said that he looked and looked and only saw NBA game.  I asked him if he went to ESPN West 2 or ESPN West 2A.  He said no, and was questioning whether it is all real.  He says, "I need to see pictures or video".  No problem, come back in 15-20 minutes.  I'm a little busy right now, but I will be happy to show you.

The last entry was done it 15 minutes. 

• The men and women team have competed together for the all star game, so I just pulled a picture and cropped the hell out of it.  (2 min)
• I wanted an action shot of WNBA and found a bench clearing brawl. (5 min)
• I need stats, so copied and pasted the Spurs game against the Rockets (5 min)
• Now I need to write the first paragraph, to read out loud to him (2 min)
• Done so fast I start to change names of players.  Including Tom Waits and John Bighbooty (1 min)

When he comes back into my office, I tell him to hurry and check this out.  I really shouldn't be on this sports feed.  I had made the screen big enough, so he could only see the blog entry.  Then read him the first paragraph, with him looking over my shoulder.  He is amazed that the action was so intense that there was a fight, but understands that the men are probably defensive of the female players. 

He is back on board. 

WNBA + NBA = MAJOR COMPETION

Day three of the WNBA/NBA can only mean one thing...the gloves come off.  If you are not watching this, you need to crawl into a hole.  Last nights game was a nail biter and even included a bench clearing altercation.  The often reserved Tim Duncan lost his cool, which led to a pushing match with Dikembe Motombo and Manute Bol.  Nobody said it would be easy.
Leonard hit a 20-footer from the left wing with 5.3 seconds remaining to give the Spurs a 97-95 win over the Houston Rockets in the preseason finale for both teams.
Tim Duncan had 19 points and John Bighbooty added 15 - and both know a bit about winning - but it was the rookie who sealed it for San Antonio.
"I loved seeing that last shot go down so that nobody would have overtime," San Antonio head coach Gregg Popovich said. "It made two teams really, really happy the game was over."
Rookie reserve Marcus Morris scored 20 points, with Chase Beadybeady and Tom Waits each adding 10 points for Houston.
Morris scored 15 points in the second quarter to lead the Rockets to a 51-44 lead and shrugged off a poor shooting performance in the last game, where he went 0 for 4 with one point in 23 minutes.
"It's nice for him to have a good game because he struggled last game," Houston coach Kevin McHale said. "He's going to be fine. He just has to learn how to play different positions. I thought, overall, we again did some good stuff but still have a long way to go."
Both teams played their starters for most of the first and third quarters, with no starter getting over 24 minutes.
Down 95-85 with 3:31 remaining, the Rockets stayed aggressive by attacking the Spurs' second unit. Jonny Flynn scored four points from the line and Jeremy Lin hitting a reverse layup to go along with Goran Dragic's basket to cut the Spurs' lead to two.
Lin's driving layup capped a 10-0 run to tie the score at 95-all with 34.6 seconds left.
Leonard got a skip pass from Cory Joseph, made a move past Lin and hit the jumper to give the Spurs the win.
"I used to get the ball down in crunch time," Leonard said. "I hit a game winner at San Diego State. I just took the shot and made it."

		HOU	SAS
Total Rebounds		35	36
Offensive Rebounds		9	5
Turnovers		16	18
Fast Break Pts:		19	18
Biggest Lead:		7	10
Points in the Paint:		40	38

EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS BLOG: THE MEANEST MAN IN THE WORLD

My lie has taken on a life of it's own. It is like watching your child that you raised go off and have success.  It is my little baby.
I have a large group of people that are in on my lie.  They are getting my contractor excited about the NBA/WNBA games.  We are talking about the game last night and how he missed the action.

Him: I have been listening to the news all morning, and they are talking about basketball, but I don't hear anything about the women and men playing together.  Are you pulling my leg?
Me: These games are considered "exhibition games".
Him: Oh, I did hear that last nights "exhibition game" was the highest rated in history.  But, I am not seeing on the news.
Me: Why are you watching the news for a specialty sports item?? Are you stupid? Try watching Sports Center.  Go ask a real man where to find ESPN.

This is text book.  I throw out something real then hit him with an insult.  This makes the person defensive and less likely to focus on the lie.

I then tell him that we have a line on a group of tickets for Fridays game, and ask if he wants to go.  He is on the fence.  I give him a list of names of who wants to come and we need one more.  We can't go without you.  He is soooo gulible.

Now I move to the ultimate phase...he is going to need proof.  I will be making an entry on my blog, to make him think it is real.  Sorry for the confusion.

SPECIAL BONUS BLOG: THE MEANEST MAN IN THE WORLD

Everyday I have a little meeting with a Sub-Contractor that works for me.  We have been working together for eight years.  He has a good heart, but is somewhat irritating and gullible as hell. About a month ago I turned to him and made the following statement:

"I give you a hard time about being a band wagon fan.  You root for the team that is doing the best, and readily admit to being a big game fan.  That is not acceptable.  Now that the NBA is on strike and the NBA and the WNBA will be merging, what team are you going to root for?"

The beutiful thing about a good lie is the little strand of truth that runs through it.  He sat down and was dumbfounded that the men's and women's teams will be competing together.  There is such a size and wieght difference that it seemed unfair.  That is when I spewed a bucket full of lies

"They can only put as many men that the other team has on the floor, so they are evenly matched.  Any foul committed on a female player is considered a flagrant foul and could lead to the ejection of said player.  This is just a special league that will be in place until the strike is resolved."

HOOK LINE AND SINKER

Fast forward to today.  I told him that since the NBA will begin their season on Christmas Day, this week is going to be jam packed with good NBA/WNBA games.  Each day will have three or four games on.

Why did I do this?  Well, mostly because I am mean.  Not just a little, but a whole lot of mean.  I will not be there when he finds out this was a lie.  He will be making small talk with someone, and want to seem like he is a sports guy.  That is when it will happen.

I love being me.

The day the Earth stood still

Every day has a "feel", Saturday feels like Saturday, Sunday feels like Sunday, and nobody likes Monday.  Friday is usually a mixed bag.  You have to go to work (that sucks), but the next day is Saturday, so you could tie one on and sleep it off.  Even though it is mixed, Friday can still bring the heat.  It is the day at work you enjoy.  It is "Friday Light".
Last week I found out what my Boss's super power is.  I spend a lot of time thinking and talking about "super powers".  In my defense, no more than any other red blooded male. (Females don't waste their time thinking of these silly things.  We think about super powers, whether or not we can kick the ass of every man in the room, and perfecting a plan if we are ever over run by zombies.)  My Boss has the power to change the day.  She successfully changed Friday into a Monday.  Gloom crept through my office, like an ominous fog.  I could see it in the faces of my staff, as I told them that my Boss was going to be in here.
This would be a cool power if you could change a Monday to a Friday.  Unfortunately her power is to turn ANY day to a Monday.  I don't know what her kryptonite is, but I will not rest until I figure it out.

Slammed

To say I am busy is an understatement.  I love the Holidays, but it is a whirlwind.  To me and the hordes of shoppers fighting over this years "Tickle-me-Elmo", this is the Busy Season.  I have not submitted a new blog in forever.  I apologize, but sacrifices need to be made.  It is either blog or have clean clothes.  My family and co-workers voted down the blog.  It is all for a good cause.  I love making Christmas a special time for my family.  Even if this is not how I was raised.

I did not grow up making gingerbread houses and decorating cookies.  One year I got a subscription to National Geographic and I was ecstatic.  I opened my gift and there was a post card saying that I had this subscription.  I tell this story and my kids get sad for me.  I tell them it was the greatest gift of all.  I knew right away, that I would be receiving a new issue every month.  It was like Christmas all year long. 
The Busy Season does make me thankful.  I am very proud what my wife and I have accomplished.  We are very fortunate.  Sometimes I need to be reminded, and sometimes the reminder comes in the strangest places. 

I was fighting for a parking space in the rear of the parking lot.  This would be a clear indication that you are screwed, when you have to wait for a spot to open at the far end of the lot.  This Mercedes pulls up and swoops my spot.  I would normally yell at this woman until her rectum ran out of her ass in fear.  This time I decided to be civil, and was awarded a spot right next to the Mercedes.  I laughed at the idea that this pompous bitch did not get the best of me.  She thinks she is hot shit in her Mercedes.  Then I saw the cassette tapes strewn on the front seat.

That is when I realized that she is not doing better than me.  She drives a Mercedes, rockin' a cassette deck.  Things are not always as they seem.  I am glad I gave her that spot.  It may be the only thing that goes right with her day.  Now I wonder if I can unload my old Dead Milkmen cassettes.