Black Friday

The Day after Thanksgiving is the busiest shopping day of the year. This day will make or break a store. Retailers use this as a gauge for the entire holiday season and an overall assessment of the economy as a whole. Blah blah blah economics.

This holiday season, I would like you to take a few things into consideration.

I worked retail for a lot of years. Newsflash...it sucks. I got out of it so that I could enjoy my holiday season. Don't get me wrong, there are some really great perks to working retail. While you are staring at ads and devising a master plan how you are going take advantage of all these deals, we have already unpacked the merchandise and played with it to see if we want it. Then when you stand in line at 2am and fight off hordes of bloodthirsty shoppers, we have hidden the some of the items you are looking for so we can buy them for our families. You accuse people at the store for doing this, and we deny it. Wait for it....we are lying (insert evil laugh here).

Don't judge us. We have to deal with you and your kid that just rearranged the entire toy section. We just dealt with the fact that all 32 ounces of your jumbo soda was spilled on the floor. If you don't like it, go get a job at a store. This will guarantee to blacken your heart.

Now if you still insist in camping out for the newest "tickle my crap toy" or the "Nintendostation 3", please be nice to us. We did not wake you and your cranky husband at 1am. We did not cause the cold front that froze your cheap butt. We did not invite the 2000 people that are in line before you. This was your choice. And no matter how many times you ask, we are not going to tell you where we hid the last item. You are trying to take the one good thing away from having to cater to you, your Highness.

So when you drive up and that line is wrapped around the building. Don't get out of your car. Go back home, get into bed and shop online.