Everyday that you roam the Earth, you are surrounded by endless beautiful sights. Like sunsets and the changing of the seasons. These are things we take for granted, things that we only see after living through a tragic event. Something or someone has to wake you up, to the world. Just as you cannot have good without bad, there is as equal amount of stupidity.
I am here to wake you up.
The first stop on our trip is the dentist. And when you think about dental work, don't you wish you could get a tattoo too? Well, your troubles are over. Now you can get a root canal and crown tattoo at the same time. This is what are society is based on, EFFICIENCY.
After you explain to your health insurance why you have a tattoo on your dental bill, you are going to need to assess your health. The perfect place to start a healthy lifestyle is build a better diet. Your local department store will be happy to assist you with this chore.
Why pay for someone to cook you a hotdog, when you can pop it in its own handy toaster. Why wade through the pesky process of properly cooking a hotdog. Why pay attention to those pesky recommended internal temperatures.
While your at it, buy the girdle next to the hotdog toaster. Face it, you don't have the time to stick to a diet. Not when the local coffee house has a drink that is 15000 calories. Not when you can get a hotdog from a toaster. Stuff yourself in this thing and get yourself a friend that is fatter and dumber than you. That way, you will always look thinner and seem smarter.
These are the building blocks of our society. This is why America is free. This is why we are bad "mother cluckers."
Tattoo dentist: isn't that the guy who uses dental instruments to literally scrape the tattoo off your body because we all know that tattoo removal is expensive and often ineffective? As always, love it.
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