I like to say that every time someone criticizes my grammar or spelling. It is the perfect way to get them to feel stupid. But now and then I find myself stumped by certain colloquialisms. I had a co-worker (Ray) that would tell people "you don't know shit from shinola".
Well he was right. I really don't know, shit from shinola. Don't get me wrong, I know my shit. As a matter of fact I have a great deal of knowledge in this arena. Having worked in the Environmental Services (Janitorial/Housekeeping) field for a long time. I'm confidant that my expertise would enable me to distinguish it, from anything else. I would even go so far as to say, I know shit from dried mud, melted chocolate, baby food or from chocolate tapioca with nuts. I just don't know SHINOLA.
I figure it is safe to say that Shinola was at one point a very popular item. It would have to have been for it to work it's way into our vocabulary. In the sa
me way that Kleenex or Coke have that brand power. Nobody would use lesser known brands as a reference.This weekend we were walking through an antique store when something caught my eye. A bottle of Shinola!!! At last the search is over. It is stupid shoe polish. I am so disappointed. This is a crock of shit.
It stands to reason that we should officially change this saying. It is out dated and does not make a whole lot of sense. Really, "you don't know shit from shoe polish" is a stupid thing to say.
I move we update this saying. I would like to nominate the following:
You don't know shit from...
- Shasta Cola
- Spam
- Shucked clams
- Shia Labeouf
- Starbucks
Summary
The a fore mentioned Ray (the co-worker) was a grumpy bastard that was full of piss and vinegar. He had an opinion on everything. He didn't care if he was right or wrong, he would argue just to argue. He was well read and extremely intelligent, and spent most of his time using these attributes to piss people off. Ray passed away about a year ago. I looked forward to arguing with him everyday. He was my friend. He cried with me when people we knew had passed. He beamed with pride when my kids were born. I keep his picture on my desk, so I can give him a nod when I make a smart ass comment, that he would enjoy. So I will end this with one of our arguments
Me: Shut up Ray, you are arguing over nothing
Ray: No, I'm arguing cause your wrong
Me: You asshole, you would argue with me that the sky was blue
Ray: You'd probably get that wrong too, you don't know shit from Shinola
Me: I know I will out live your old ass
I am not trying to be a buzz kill. I know that Ray is laughing right now, and will be waiting for me on the other side for his comeback.
My vote: You don't know shit from Shia.
ReplyDelete