Evaluation time

It is Evaluation season at my work.  This generally sucks on the highest of levels.  We do not give evaluations according to anniversary date, but by a common date.  That is over forty associates that I have to do at once.  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
I pride myself with writing concise evaluations with useful information.  This applies to 10-15 people, then it wears on me.  My mind starts to wander and the comments reflect it.  Here is where I am at:

• You are not the most irritating associate on my team, but with a little less work, I'm sure you will be.
• The work that you put into special projects barely meets the definition of work.
• Due to the irritating way you laugh, I would appreciate it if you spent more time communicating with my management staff and not myself.
• My education and respect for the English language usually holds me in check, but there are not a whole lot of ways to say that you are more stupid this year than last.  Thus your evaluation will be recorded that you are stupider than ever.
• Your evaluation is so bad, we will be sending you a bill for all the payroll that you wasted.
• This evaluation is below average, not because of your work or not achieving desired results.  It is because I have very few opportunity to put into writing that you smell bad and spit when you talk. 

Please submit your suggestions