Breaking up

I am totally down with public humiliation, but I think there is an art to it.  We do not have to lower ourselves by going for the low hanging fruit.
 Charlie Sheen, I have been making fun of you for years.  I replaced the term "kid in a candy store" with "Charlie Sheen in a whorehouse" When I know I am correct about a subject and someone questions me, instead of saying "Does a shark shit in the sea?", I say "Is Charlie Sheen doing a line of blow off a hookers ass?"  You get the picture.
I'm sorry Charlie, it's not you...it's me.  I can't continue our relationship.  You are in the middle of a thermo-nuclear meltdown, and the media is having a field day.  I just don't want to be one of massive hordes that are circling over your drug and alcohol soaked body.  I really wish we could go back to the days when you were testifying in the Heidi Fleiss trial, and I was making fun of you.  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I hitched my wagon to your train wreck and not Hugh Grant and his prostitute.  There will always be special place for you in my heart.  I just need to make fun of other people.
Yeah, I had my moments telling people to buy the new Tiger Woods golf game, that has the bonus slut level.  I don't want you to think I am running off to make fun of someone else.

Lets just say, I'm playing the field.