Euphemism extravaganza

If you love music, sooner or later you will have to address the inevitable music genre. Songs that are about..."polishing the rocket"or self gratification. This is the ultimate category for a true music buff, because it crosses ALL lines. There is not any one band dedicated to these songs. My (make believe) band would dedicate a whole album to it (that album would be called: Arm wrestling the purple headed Stormtrooper). By the way, the name of my (make believe) band is "Captain krunch and the serial killers". Here are some of my favorite songs about "beef stroke-it-off":

Turning Japanese
Dancing with myself
Blister in the sun
My ding a ling

Every music fan should have a list, and it is often deemed controversial. Not because of the subject matter, but because commoners don't believe its true. Really, you thought the Vapors wanted to turn Japanese? It's all about the big O face. As much as Billy Idol liked to dance, when he was dancing with himself, he was "applying the hand break". The Violent Femmes left little to the imagination with "big hands I know your the one" from blister in the sun. Chuck Berry got large groups of people to chant "I want to play with my ding a ling". The list of songs go on and on. For the most part these songs show a certain amount of decorum, by not being too overly obvious. Except Chuck Berry, but he is a legend, so he gets to have a song called "my ding a ling" and it gets into the top ten.

When it comes to "tickling the bean", the ladies are not so discreet. Cindy Lauper did not mince words when she sang "she bop" The Divinyls sang "every time I think of you, I touch myself". Wow, no euphemism needed. Why is it that they can sing about "fluffing the kitty" or "guilding the lily", but their male counterparts have to be more discreet about "batting practice"?

oh, by the way current weight 344.6