I'm a wingnut too

I enjoy fooling people.  I wouldn't consider myself a liar...who am I kidding.  I am a professional liar.  I lie about just about everything (that is inconsequential).  I don't lie about the important things.  Just the little things.

Ask me if I saw the latest movie, and I will probably say yes.  On a good year, I will go to the movies once.  I don't want to hear you try to talk me into seeing this movie, so I will lie, so you will let it go.  That seems harmless enough.  I am essentially lying to save you from the brutal truth: "No I will not see your stupid movie, now shut your pie hole."  See, I am doing the world a service.  I will also use this discretion, when you walk up to me looking like a stuffed sausage clown hooker.  I won't point and laugh, then ask if you lost a bet.  I will just say "wow, look at you" or "niiiiice!" and always followed with a thumbs up.  These are all examples of me, being nice.

I will also lie, to underline your stupidity, to see how gullible you really are or allow you the opportunity to join in the fun.  It is not as confusing as it sounds.  Let's say we are at a party and a small group of people are engaged in a conversation.  It is inevitable that I will work some sort of stupid lie into the conversation.  Example: Punky Brewster actress, (Soliel Moon Frye) did porn in the 90's under the name "Humpy Brewster."  This may sound ludicrous, but please keep in mind that I sell it.  I give a back story that Soliel turned to a life of drugs after her show was canceled, but since her porn days, has become a prominent fixture in a Christian organization that rescues porn stars (all lies).  If I am underlining your stupidity, you buy it hook line and sinker.  Then you spread my lie to other people.  If you are borderline gullible, you will be skeptical, and rightfully so.  That is the challenge and the back story that I weave is where I get you to bite.  Now the people that smell the lie, they are my accomplices.  They chime in with their verification of my story.  Ahhh good fun. 

Recently a friend gave me this picture:

It is a Hot Dog on a Stick employee at an airshow.  Pretty random.  That fact that he printed it and put it into a frame, makes it magical.  I now have carte blanche to make up whatever story I want.  Please note, this picture sits on my desk next to pictures of my family.

My current story...
In 1991, some friends and I started sending money to a Ethiopian family in need.  They used this money to help fund their education.  Last year, the youngest daughter was excepted into an overseas exchange program where she joined Hot Dog on a Stick University.  She excelled in the program, and was offered a position running a pilot program "Hot Dogs around the world."  This picture was taken at the farewell party, just before she boarded the plane.  She is now back in Ethiopia running a very successful Hot Dog on a Stick.

I don't know why I do this.  I do know that my wife would never take this nonsense, so I take it out on other people.  I used to be way worse, my wife makes me a better person.

The world should thank her.